Literacy assingment

Literacy assingment

            I took my First Certificate course test in December 2007, after I spent a year going to the private classes with my group and a few months preparing for this exam. When I started the course, I didn’t take it too seriously, in fact I didn’t take it seriously, at all. After all, I was the one who was the best in English in primary school and the one of the best in the secondary school, I, and the few others were those students who would help others with their homework, we were those who knew the answers to teacher’s questions. Therefore, I was very confident in my knowledge and saw attendance to the course classes and doing homework as sufficient. I certainly didn’t need to prepare and study for the exam! Well, at least I thought so…

            The examination was held in the edifice of BK University, at 9:00, in Novi Sad. The test consisted of several parts: reading, writing and listening, so it would take the whole day to complete it all. I remember waking up that day, at around 6:30 with the strangest feeling in my stomach. I was nervous, anxious and tired, since I hadn’t slept well the previous night. I hardly ate my breakfast, a slice of bread with a plum jam, and was ready to hit the road. It was cold and windy day, and while my friends, who were also taking the course and sitting the exam, and I, were standing outside of building of BK University, I could feel a cold wind go through my bones. Fear and panic were rising with every minute among all of them. I decided not to listen to their bursts of anxiety while they were revising the grammatical rules. After all I was the strongest link there, I didn’t need the revision, I knew everything.

            The exam started at 9 am sharp. I easily got through reading part, multiple choice questions, and the writing as well. Only occasional whisper of my friend, who was sitting next to me, would interrupt a complete silence in the room. She was trying to copy the answers from me, and the guy sitting next to her. She was comparing our answers: “You have completely different answers in the third!” Completely confident, I said to her: “I think mine are good”. She: “Great, just bloody great!”

            In the early afternoon, right after the listening part, which was not difficult, at all, came the speaking, and it shook my confidence a little bit. The fact that we were to speak in front of a native speaker, terrified me, so both my friend, who was my speaking couple, and I haven’t done our best. I was slightly disappointed, but even bigger disappointment was waiting for me when I saw, few weeks later, the results of the exam!

            Big, fat FAILED popped out in front of my eyes next to my name on the computer screen. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I failed FCE exam, the one that everyone says is so easy that even those who speak English poorly can pass it, with no effort. I was devastated. Of course, there is no need to mention that all my other fellow students passed it, even my friend who copied the answers from me, and she was positive that she would fail. I started crying. For the first time in my life, I truly felt like a failure. I let down my parents, the ones that truly believed in me, and I let down myself. Teaching English, reading, and translating were my passions, since 6^th grade in primary school, I wanted to become a teacher, and study English, I took part in competitions there, and won prizes…But I was no longer in the 6^th grade, and I didn’t know what I want any more. I originally started the FCE course to upgrade my knowledge, and prepare myself for the entrance exam on the Department of English language. I was constantly asking myself if that was a sign. “Should I give up, now while I still have time, or should I pursue my dream?”

            After a lot of thinking, I had realized that I could turn this bad experience into something positive. I decided to follow my dream and take the entrance exam in English, the next year. Since I learned my mistake in the hard way, I studied really hard for my entrance exam for a few months. Unlike with FCE exam, this time all the effort paid off. This time, the feelings of fulfillment, joy and happiness overwhelmed me. I was proud of my accomplishment, of the fruit of my hard work. In one brief moment, my confidence and all my dreams, were crushed, but, life had taught me to rise and never give up on anything.      

            That day, when I saw the results and the word FAILED next to my name, I faced the reality. Although this experience was beneficial for my emotional and psychological growth as a person, it was still very painful to see your dreams crushed and see a completely different reality from the one you perceived. It is always very difficult to be objective to yourself, or at least close to it. Back then, it was a complete shock, but today I see it as a wake up call. I had realized that I should pursuit my dream, and work on it harder than ever! And so I did.